Connectors and Distractors
When we are stuck in the cycle of loneliness, it’s hard to get out - instead of reaching for the things that will make us feel better and bring us back into connection (Connectors) we often reach for things that numb us and make us feel worse (Distractors). Knowing what helps and what hinders our sense of connection can be a great first step to breaking out of that cycle.
Here Ace and and Lucy share some of their Connectors and Distractors
Exercise:
Take a sheet of paper and make two columns - one for Connectors and one for Distractors.
Think about a time you’ve felt isolated or lonely and, in the Distractors column, write down the things you reach for in those moments that keep you stuck. You can think of these as being your unhealthy coping mechanisms, for example, scrolling Instagram, smoking a cigarette, raiding the snacks when you’re not hungry.
Now, in the Connectors column, write a list of those things that bring you back into connection - it could be going for a walk, cooking a meal for friends, or playing a game with your kids.
Keep this list handy and next time you’re about to reach for one of your Distractors, see if you can choose one of your connectors instead.
